Lord, Teach Me How To Love
Introduction
Loving God and loving others is the #1 Kingdom principle.
Our love walk is vitally necessary when it comes to receiving healing
and deliverance, or whatever it is that we are asking the Lord for. The failure
to walk in love can prevent a person from receiving their healing and can block
the flow of God’s blessings. Whatever we receive from the Lord, we receive by
faith. Faith works by love (Galations 5:6). Without love, our faith will not
work properly. Therefore, if we are not receiving answers to our prayers,
perhaps we need to check up on our love walk.
Unforgiveness and hatred are deadly to our love walk, and these are
blessing blockers. To hate our brother is the same as walking in darkness,
according to 1 John 2:11. We cannot say that we love God and are walking in the
light, yet hate our brother at the same time (1 John 1:5-8, 2:9). Hatred is as
the sin of murder, and no murderers will inherit eternal life (1 John 3:15,
Revelation 21:8). However, if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to
forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
If you do not have love in your heart for someone, the Holy Spirit can place
that love there. Romans 5:5 tells us that the love of God is shed abroad in our
hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:44 to love our enemies. “But I say to you,
love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you,
and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” It is not easy to
follow this command, but it is possible by the power of the Holy Spirit.
In the Old Testament, there was probably nothing of greater importance
than the burnt offerings and sacrifices. Yet love is superior to all of the
sacrifices. David said in Psalms 51:16-17 that God does not delight in
sacrifices and burnt offerings, but in a broken and contrite heart. The heart
and attitudes of man is what God is after. Mark 12:33 (NKJV) says, “And to love
Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, with all the soul, and with
all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is more than all the
whole burnt offerings and sacrifices."
The law of Moses contains numerous laws. However, if we just walk in one
law – the law of love – we will have fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8-10 (NKJV)
says, “Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another
has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’
‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false
witness,’ ‘You shall not covet,’ and if there is any other commandment, are all
summed up in this saying, namely, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
If you walk in love, you will not break any of the ten commandments.
The Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, “Though I speak with the
tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass
or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand
all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could
remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my
goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not
love, it profits me nothing.” Whatever we do or accomplish in life – if there
is not love, then it’s all for nothing.
Jesus commands us to love one another. John 13:34-35 (NKJV) says, “A new
commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that
you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if
you have love for one another." In John 14:21 Jesus said that if we love
Him, we will keep His commandments. In Verse 23, Jesus says, “If a man love me,
he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him,
and make our abode with him.” In John 15:10, Jesus tells us that if we keep His
commandments, we will abide in His love, just as He kept His Father's
commandments and abide in His love.
In John 15:13-14 (NKJV), Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this,
than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are My friends if you do
whatever I command you.”
Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NKJV), “And now abide faith, hope,
love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
God is love. To walk in love is to walk in the light and be one with
God. To love our neighbors is to have sweet fellowship with them with Christ at
the center.
The Greek language, in which the New Testament was written in, has
several words which are translated into English as “love”. The primary Greek
words for love we will be looking at in this study are agapao (a verb) and
agape (a noun).
Greek Words For Love
Listed below are the Greek words which are translated as “love” in the
New Testament. The numbers in parenthesis besides each Greek word refers to the
Strong’s New Testament Concordance number for that word. For example, agape
(26).
1. Agape
(26) – a noun. Sacrificial, unselfish love;
benevolence; good will. God’s love for mankind. Our love for God and others.
Agape love involves feelings of affection, but is based on a decision of the
will. Agape love always gives, and puts the interests of others before its own.
Agape is a term used for the Love Feasts in the early church. The New
Unger’s Bible Dictionary states: “At this
meal the Christians, in connection with their common Redeemer Jesus Christ,
ignored all distinctions of rank, wealth, and culture, and met as members of
one family.”
Below are listed the New Testament Scriptures where the word agape is
found.
Matthew 24:12; Luke 11:42; John 5:42, 13:35, 15:9-10,13, 17:26; Romans 5:5,8, 8:35,39, 12:9, 13:10,
14:15, 15:30; 1 Corinthians 8:1,
13:1-4,8,13, 14:1, 16:14,24; 2
Corinthians 2:4,8, 5:14, 6:6, 8:7-8,24, 13:11,14; Galations 5:6,13,22; Ephesians
1:4,15, 2:4, 3:17,19, 4:2,15-16, 5:2, 6:23; Philippians 1:9,15, 2:1-2; Colossians
1:4,8,13, 2:2, 3:14; 1 Thessalonians
1:3, 3:6,12, 5:8,13; 2 Thessalonians
1:3, 2:10, 3:5; 1 Timothy 1:5,14,
2:15, 4:12, 6:11; 2 Timothy 1:7,13,
2:22, 3:10; Titus 2:2; Philemon 5:7,9; Hebrews 6:10,10:24; 1 Peter
4:8, 5:14; 2 Peter 1:7; 1 John 2:5,15, 3:1,16-17,
4:7-10,12,16-18, 5:3; 2 John 3:6; 3 John 6; Jude 2:12,21; Revelation
2:4,19.
2. Agapao (25) – a verb. To regard the best welfare of another. To have
preference for one another. To prize and treasure. Love for the brethren. God’s
love for mankind as demonstrated by giving His one and only Son. Our love for
God demonstrated in affectionate reverence, prompt obedience, and grateful
recognition of benefits received.
Matthew 5:43-44,46, 6:24, 19:19, 22:37,39; Mark
10:21, 12:30-31,33; Luke 6:27,32,35,
7:5,42,47, 10:27, 11:43, 16:13; John
3:16,19,35, 8:42, 10:17, 11:5,12:43, 13:1,23,34, 14:15,21,23-24,28,31,
15:9,12,17, 17:23-24,26, 19:26, 21:7,15-16,20; Romans 8:28,37, 9:13,25, 13:8-9; 1 Corinthians 2:9, 8:3; 2
Corinthians 9:7, 11:11, 12:15; Galations
2:20, 5:14; Ephesians 1:6, 2:4,
5:25,28,33, 6:24; Colossians 3:12,19;
1 Thessalonians 1:4, 4:9; 2 Thessalonians 2:13,16; 2 Timothy 4:8,10; Hebrews 1:9, 12:6; James
1:12, 2:5,8; 1 Peter 1:8,22, 2:17,
3:10; 2 Peter 2:15; 1 John 2:10,15, 3:10-11,14,18,23,
4:7-8,10-12,19-21, 5:1-2; 2 John
1:5; 3 John 1; Revelation 1:5, 3:9, 12:11, 20:9.
3. Phileo (5368) – friendship; to be kindly disposed to one; personal attachment;
tender affection; sentimental feelings; to love from the heart. Matthew 6:5, 10:37, 23:6, 26:48; Mark 14:44; Luke 20:46, 22:47; John
5:20, 11:3,36, 12:25, 15:19, 16:27, 20:2, 21:15-17, 1 Corinthians 16:22, Titus 3:15;
Revelation 3:19, 22:15.
4. Philos (5384) – a dear one; to be fond of; a friend; an associate; a neighbor.
Matthew 11:19; Luke 7:6,34, 11:5-6,8, 12:4, 14:10,12, 15:6,9,29, 16:9, 21:16,
23:12; John 3:29, 11:11, 15:13-15,
19:12; Acts 10:24, 19:31, 27:3; James 2:23, 4:4; 3 John 14.
5. Philadelphia (5360) – brotherly love; the love which Christians cherish for each
other as brethren. Romans 12:10; 1 Thessalonians 4:9; Hebrews 13:1; 1 Peter 1:22; 2 Peter
1:7.
6. Philadelphos (5361) – the word in which “Philadelphia” is derived; love for the
brethren. 1 Peter 3:8.
7. Philandros (5362) – affectionate as a wife; a wife showing affection to her
husband. Titus 2:4a.
8. Philoteknos (5388) – loving one’s offspring or children. Titus 2:4b.
9. Philanthropia (5363) – love of mankind; benevolence; philanthropy. Acts 28:2; Titus 3:4.
10. Philanthropos (5364) – love of mankind;
philanthropy; humane; kindness. Acts
27:3.
11. Philoproteuo (5383) – to aspire after
pre-eminence; to desire to be first; ambitious of distinction of status. 3 John 9.
12. Philarguria (5365) – avarice; greed;
covetousness; stinginess; love of money. 1
Timothy 6:10.
13. Philaguros (5366) – avarice; greed;
covetousness; stinginess; love of money. Luke
16:14; 2 Timothy 3:2.
14. Spalgchnon (4698) – bowels; intestines;
heart; liver. Denoting tender mercies, affection, sympathy, compassion,
reaching out to those in need. Luke
1:78; 2 Corinthians 7:15; Philippians 1:8, 2:1; Colossians 3:12; Philemon 7,12,20; 1 John
3:17.
Agape (noun) and agapao (verb) is the highest form of love, and is
imparted to us by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5).
Without agape love in operation, it is not possible to act in genuine
phileo or philos love (love for the brethren, family and friends). How can
relationships thrive and survive if we mistreat each other, are rude to each
other, get easily angered, do not show courtesy and consideration, do not show
respect and honor to one another, are unkind to each other, backbite our
neighbor, say cruel and hurtful things to each other, display jealousy, and do
things which create an atmosphere of mistrust?
Agape love is the kind of love that God requires us to walk in. This
kind of love is to be demonstrated to everyone. Agape love is the foundation of
solid relationships.
Demonstrating agape love from the heart is crucial. One cannot enter
heaven without walking in love. Agape love is higher than human love, and it is
not a kind of love which we can give out in our own flesh or human strength.
This kind of love comes from God, who IS love. This love is given to us from
the Holy Spirit who dwells on the inside of us. The Lord wants us to be a
vessel in which He can love others through us.
In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul gives us a fuller understanding of
what it means to walk in agape love. Paul defines agape love for us in
practical terms that relate to our day-to-day living.
Sources:
·
The Holy Bible, King James
Version
·
Thayer’s Greek Lexicon
·
Strong’s Numbers and Concordance
with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary
Love Defined in 1
Corinthians 13
Paul the Apostle defines for us what agape love is in 1 Corinthians
13:4-8a.
He writes: “Love suffers long
and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes
all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
NKJV
Below I have given the Greek words and Greek definitions for what love
is and what love is not, so that we may have a fuller understanding of what
Paul is teaching. The numbers within the parenthesis refer to the Strong’s New
Testament Concordance.
Love is …
1. Patient (3114 makrothumeo) – to be
long spirited, forbearing, patient; to be patient in bearing the offenses and
injuries of others; to be mild and slow in avenging; to be long suffering; slow
to anger, slow to punish.
2. Kind
(5541
chresteuomai) – to show oneself helpful; i.e.
to act benevolently; to show oneself mild.
3. Not
Envious (2206 zeloo)
– to have warmth of feeling against; to be heated or boiling; jealousy.
4. Not
boastful (4068
perpereuomai) – braggart; to vaunt oneself.
5. Not
Proud or Arrogant (5448 phusioo) – to be haughty;
to inflate; blow up; blow out; to cause to swell up.
6. Not
Rude (807
aschemoneo) – to be (or act) unbecoming; behave unseemly.
7. Not
Self-Seeking (2212 zeteo) – seek; require; demand (one’s own way); selfishness;
self-centeredness.
8. Not
Easily Angered (3947 paroxuno) – to exasperate; to irritate; provoke; rouse to
anger; to be sharp.
9. Thinking
No Evil (2556 kakos) – troublesome; injurious;
pernicious; destructive; baneful; keeping a record of wrongs.
10. Not Rejoicing in Iniquity (93 adikia) – injustice; moral
wrongfulness (of character, life or act).
11. Rejoices in Truth (225 aletheia) – what is true in any matter under consideration
(opposed to what is feigned, fictitious, false); truth as a personal
excellence; that candor or mind which is free from affectation, pretense,
simulation, falsehood, deceit.
12. Beareth All Things (Protects) (4722 stego) – to roof over, i.e.
(figuratively) to cover with silence; to keep secret; to hide; conceal; to
protect or keep by covering; to preserve; to bear up against; hold out against,
and so to endure, bear, forbear.
13. Believeth All Things (Trust) (4100 pisteuo) –
to have faith (in, or with respect to, a person); to think to be true; to be
persuaded of; to credit; place confidence in.
14. Hopeth All Things (Expect) (1679 elpizo) – to expect; expect the
best.
15. Endures All Things (5278 hupomeno) – abide, remain; i.e. bear trials; have fortitude;
persevere.
16. Love Never Fails (or Falls) (4098 pipto) – to fall; used of descent
from a higher place to a lower; used of descent from a standing to a prostrate
position; to fall from a state of uprightness; i.e. to sin; to come to an end;
cease.
Sources:
·
The Holy Bible, King James
Version
·
Thayer’s Greek Lexicon
·
Strong’s Numbers and Concordance
with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary
Love Declarations of
Faith
Years ago I was watching the Believer’s Voice of Victory, with Gloria
Copeland teaching on love. She was teaching from 1 Corinthians 13. She
challenged her viewers to replace the word “love” with “I am” or “I”, and then
declare it in faith.
When I declared it outloud, there were some things in 1 Corinthians 13
where I said to myself, “Yeah, right” (I knew that I fell short of living up to
1 Corinthians 13 in some ways). However, if you continue to confess 1
Corinthians 13 by replacing the word “love” with “I am” or “I”, those
confessions of faith will take root. Your heart will begin to change, and the
Lord will help you to grow in love.
Declare Aloud …
I am patient. I am long
suffering. I am slow to anger. I am patient in bearing the offenses of
others.
I am kind. I am mild. I am benevolent. I am helpful.
I am not envious. I have no feelings
of jealousy against another.
I am not boastful. I do not vaunt or
brag on myself.
I am not proud or arrogant. I am not
haughty. I am not puffed up.
I am not rude. I do not act
unbecoming. I do not behave unseemly.
I am not self-seeking. I do not
demand my own way. I am not selfish or
self-centered.
I am not easily angered. I do not get
exasperated quickly. I am not easily
provoked. I am not sharp with others.
I think no evil. I do not keep a
record of wrongs. I do not have
spiteful, destructive, injurious or malicious thoughts towards anyone.
I do not rejoice in iniquity. I do
not take pleasure in injustice or moral wrongfulness. I do not rejoice in someone else’s calamity.
I rejoice in the truth. I do not
pay heed to what is fictitious and false.
I take no part in rumors.
I bear all things. I protect and
cover. I do not expose the secrets or
weaknesses of others. I can be trusted
to keep a confidence.
I believe all things. I have faith
in that person. I trust that
person. I have confidence in that
person. (This is not saying that you should trust every person because not
every person can be trusted. This passage may be saying to look for the best in
every person, and that trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship.)
I hope all things. I expect for
the best.
I endure all things. I remain
steadfast in bearing trials. I have an
attitude of fortitude and perseverance.
I will never fall away from Christ because I walk in love. I will not fall into sin as long as I put on
love. My love for Jesus Christ and
others will never end. I will never
cease to show love. Love never
fails. Love is the solution to most
problems.
Amen, so be it!
Serving Others
In today’s message, we will focus on expressing agape love by serving
one another.
Galations 5:13-15 (NKJV) says, “For you, brethren, have been called to
liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through
love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this.
‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one
another, beware lest you be consumed by one another.”
To serve means to minister to others, attending to and waiting upon
others, caring for others, serving the welfare of others. To be a servant one
must have a spirit of humility. Servanthood is putting the best interests and
needs of others before oneself. A servant attitude is one of meekness, kindness
and gentleness.
To serve others is to show honor, preferring one another (Romans 12:10).
To serve others is to esteem others higher than ourselves. Philippians 2:3-4
says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in
lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you
look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
To the world, the idea of servanthood has a negative connotation. The
ways of the fleshly nature are very selfish and self-centered. The fleshly
nature is more concerned about the needs of self than the needs of others. The
flesh seeks to be in control, seeks to be served, and often times steps on
others in order to get ahead.
The fleshly nature says, “What can I get out of this?” … “What can you
do for me?” … “How will this benefit me?” … “What are my best interests?” … “I
will give my 50% if you give your 50%.”
On the contrary, a servant asks the question: “What can I do to serve
you?” … “How can I meet the needs of others?” … “How can I minister to others
more effectively?” … “What is in the best welfare of the other person?” A
servant gives his/her 100% regardless of whether or not others do the same.
A servant endeavors to be sensitive to the feelings of others, and is
considerate of the needs of others. A servant looks for opportunities to serve.
A servant does not have the attitude that he/she is too great, or too
important, to serve others or do menial tasks that are below them.
In Acts 6:2, the twelve disciples said, “It is not desirable that we
should leave the Word of God and serve tables.” It wasn’t that they felt that
serving tables was “beneath” them. Rather, Jesus had called them to devote
themselves to prayer and the preaching of the Gospel. Serving tables was taking
up most of their time so that they could not fulfill what they were called to
do. Therefore, deacons were appointed to take care of these matters.
Jesus defined greatness as that of being a servant. Before God exalts a
person to leadership, He looks for a servant heart. Mark 10:43-44 says,
“Whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister; and whosoever of
you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.”
A servant leader seeks to be a good example to others. They lead by
serving, and their followers learn to serve by observing their leader.
Jesus is our ultimate example of a servant leader. Mark 10:45 (NKJV)
says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to
give His life as a ransom for many.” John 6:38 (NKJV) states: “For I have come
down from Heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.”
Jesus is God, yet He left the splendor of Heaven and humbled Himself as
a man (Philippians 2:4-11) and the Father exalted Him with the Name above all
other names.
Jesus laid down His life for us so that we could have everlasting life.
Jesus taught us to lay down our lives down for one another (1 John 3:16).
Jesus is our role model of how to demonstrate servanthood to others. He
left His place at the head table to wash His disciples’ feet (John 13:5). Jesus
also displayed humility by ministering to the needs of people around him. He
healed people and went about doing good. He did not have the attitude of “leave
Me alone … I’m too busy”. He took time out minister one on one with people in
need.
Most of us live busy lives and have responsibilities to take care of.
Also, since we are not God, we cannot meet all the needs of others around us.
God does His job in taking care of the needs of everyone. He’s just asking us
to do whatever He leads us to do. With our loved ones, family, church, and
within our own sphere of influence, He wants us to display a servant’s heart.
Jesus and the Bride Serve
One Another
The relationship between Christ and the Church is a picture of mutual
servanthood and submission.
Jesus, the Bridegroom, Serves the
Church
Jesus serves the Church by demonstrating His unending love, humility,
mercy, goodness, kindness, graciousness and faithfulness. He leads by example.
There is no selfishness in Him. He is concerned about the needs of His Bride.
He laid His life down for His Bride, and He wants us to lay our lives down for
one another.
Jesus is very patient. He is not harsh, sharp or easily angered. He
cherishes His Bride, fostering her with tender loving care, with the
implication of brooding over her like a hen would brood over her chicks keeping
them warm and safe. Jesus nourishes and nurtures His Church.
Jesus speaks tenderly to His Bride and demonstrates His affection and
warmth. He romances her and tells her how radiant and beautiful she is (Song of
Solomon is a picture of Jesus and the Church). He washes and cleanses her by
the Word (Ephesians 5:26). He takes her to the banqueting hall (Song of Solomon
2:4). He provides for her, protects her, affirms her, and ministers to her
needs. He shows her honor and respect. He never overrides her will or forces
her to do anything, but allows us to have free will.
Jesus leads without dominating His Church. When we call out to Him, He
is not too busy to listen to us. He is there for us. He is faithful forever,
even if the Church is not. Jesus’ actions of servanthood and humility provokes
in His Bride the desire to follow in His footsteps.
The Bride (Church) Serves Jesus
There is a distinction between being a church-goer and being the bride
of Christ. A person can be religious and not even be saved. The Bride is in
love with Jesus and seeks to do His will.
The Bride serves her Bridegroom (Jesus). She finds out what pleases Him
the most and then does those things.
The Bride serves her Lord by giving herself wholeheartedly to Him. When
He draws her to come and spend time in His Presence and share spiritual oneness
with Him in the King’s chambers, she does not reject or refuse Him. She says
yes with gladness of heart not because she feels obligated, but because she
loves Him and delights in her Bridegroom. She does not always wait to be
beckoned to the Secret Place, but she comes to Jesus on her own because He
likes to be woo’d too. Although Jesus is God, He has a need to feel and know He
is loved and wanted.
The Bride serves Jesus by loving Him in the way He desires to be loved.
She shows Him utmost respect and honor. She reveres Him, holding Him in high
esteem. She does not say things or act in a manner which demeans or causes
shame to or belittles her Lord or His Name. She waits in His Presence and
ministers to Him. She tells Him how beautiful He is. She lavishes Him with
praise and compliments. She obeys Him and submits to His leadership. She has a
heart of submission and sensitivity to His Spirit. She chooses to relinquish
control and lets Him be in the driver’s seat.
The Bride serves the Lord by dying to the flesh and self in order to
live for the Spirit. She takes on His Name and her life is no longer her own.
She puts Christ’s interests and plans above that of her own. She chooses to
decrease, so that Christ may increase. She chooses to yield to God’s authority
and leadership. The Bride adores and greatly admires her Lord. She keeps His
first command – which is to love God with her whole heart and to love her
neighbor as herself.
The relationship between Christ and the Church is a type and picture of
the kind of relationship God desires between a husband and wife. Pride, sin,
selfishness, hurts, divisions, the cares of this life, financial problems,
incompatibility, sexual impurity (such as adultery and porn) and many other
factors have robbed man and wife from experiencing the ideal union that God
originally intended in the Garden of Eden.
The Word is full of encouraging news and truths of how to have
successful relationships in marriage and with family and friends. The Word
teaches that in order to have joy and peace in our relationships that it
requires us to, first and foremost, walk in agape (or agapao) love. (The
difference between agape and agapao is that agape is a noun and agapao is a
verb – action word. Both words have the same meaning.)
Agape requires us to die to the flesh and put others first. It requires
servanthood and humility. It means to treat people right and esteem others
higher than ourselves. It means to consider the welfare of others and not only
our own interests.
An excellent book that I would highly recommend if you are married, or
would like to be married, is entitled How To Make Your Marriage Exciting by Charles and Frances Hunter. They were married for almost 40 years
before Frances went to be with the Lord, and then Charles passed on a year
later. They claim that in their marriage, they never had an argument or cross
word. In their book they discuss some key points the Lord taught them in order
to have a fulfilling marriage relationship. Everything they teach involves
demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-24).
From the intimate relationship they had with the Lord, it carried over
into their marriage. First John 1:7 says, “But if we walk in the light, as He
is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus
Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.”
The chapter titles in their book are: Be honest … Be loving … Be patient
… Be courteous … Be considerate … Be fun to live with … Be desirous (avoid
doing things that irritate your spouse, be well pleasing to your partner) … Be
forgiving … Be loyal … Be one (be a united team) … Be married (intimacy of
spirit, soul and body) … Be in harmony with God’s plan (doing God’s will) … In
sickness and in health, for better or for worse (commitment).
Honor, Respect, Courtesy and
Consideration
Agape love and servanthood means to show honor, respect, courtesy and
consideration to one another. Not doing these things causes resentments
and can spoil a relationship very quickly. Even little things which another
finds to be inconsiderate can lead to heated arguments.
In family relationships, if you have been repeatedly told that something
you do (even if it seems insignificant to you) is irritating or inconsiderate,
then on your part it is a form of not showing courtesy. If you continue to do
it, then anger builds up for the other person/s. The other family member/s will
feel like they are not being respected or shown honor. In one way, part of love
is to overlook quirks and not let it bother you so much. Yet another part of
love is to be sensitive to the feelings of others.
What if we show love to others but they do not return that same love to
us? Although it causes us pain and hurt when others don’t love us back, God
wants us to follow through on our part. When we stand before Jesus someday, we
will have to give an account of our own life and our own deeds. When He asks us
if we loved others, then we will be able to say, with confidence and boldness,
“YES”!
Showing Honor and Respect
In our society, in families, in many marriages, at the workplace, and
even in the Body of Christ today, there is a lack of showing honor and respect
to one another. The world has promoted a spirit of independence and self-will
to the point where the predominant attitude is one of self-centeredness with
little regard for others.
Agape love involves showing honor and respect to others. Our society is
puzzled by all the broken relationships that abound. Yet how can relationships
survive, or be joyful and peaceful, if we show dishonor and disrespect to one
another? Honor and respect is one of the most important keys to successful,
lasting relationships.
In the Webster’s Dictionary, “honor”
is defined as: high regard or great
respect given, received or enjoyed; dignity; repute; esteem; to treat with
deference and courtesy.
The word “respect” is defined
as: to feel or show honor or esteem for;
hold in high regard; to consider or treat with deference or dutiful regard; to
show consideration for; courteous regard; to avoid intruding upon (such as
respecting others’ boundaries and feelings).
The term “deference” is
defined as: a yielding in opinion,
judgment or wishes; courteous regard or respect; honor.
In certain passages of the Bible, some translators use the word
“respect” while other translations use the term “reverence”. Reverence is
similar to respect, except has deeper meaning. Reverence implies deep respect together with love. To revere
is to have high esteem or awe for; to venerate. Reverence suggests a regarding
with great respect, affection, honor and deference.
In 1 Peter 3:7, Peter said for husbands to dwell with their wives
according to knowledge (know her, know what she likes and doesn’t like, know
what is important to her, know her heart). Then Peter says to give honor to the wife as the weaker
vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be
not hindered. The Greek word and definition of “honor” in this verse is timee (Strong’s New Testament #5092). It
means: “honor which belongs or is shown
to one; to value and esteem to the highest degree; to hold in high dignity; to
esteem as very precious; of high price.”
So Peter is saying to husbands to show honor to their wives, to value
and esteem them to the highest degree, to hold in high dignity, to esteem as
very precious and of high price.
The word to wives in Ephesians 5:33 does not just tell wives to respect
their husbands, but to reverence
their husbands. Reverence implies deep respect together with love, affection,
honor and deference (yieldedness, submissiveness). A man’s greatest need is
honor and respect. That is his primary love language.
The Bible commands us to honor our parents. The Greek word for “honor”
in the verses that refer to honoring parents is timao (Strong’s New Testament #5091). It is defined as: “to prize; to fix a valuation upon; to
revere; to venerate; to honor.”
In Matthew 15:3-7, some of the Pharisees and Scribes provoked Jesus by
asking Him why His disciples transgress the tradition of the elders by not
washing their hands when they eat bread. Jesus then asked them why their
traditions violate the direct commandments of God. Many of the religious
leaders failed to honor their parents by not caring or providing for them in
their older age, when they had means to do so. Resources that should have been
used to take care of their parents was instead given away to be used for other
purposes.
Peter said to honor kings and those in authority (1 Peter 2:17). Romans
13:7 tells us to give honor to whom honor is due. First Timothy 5:17 says that
the elders who rule well should be counted worthy to double honor, especially
those who labor in the Word and doctrine.
Romans 12:10 tells believers in the Body of Christ to be kindly
affectioned one to another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another. In the Greek, to prefer one another
means to show deference to one another or to outdo one another in showing honor.
Paul said to show special honor to widows in 1 Timothy 5:3.
Peter commanded us in 1 Peter 2:17 to show honor and respect to all people.
Most importantly, we are to honor
the Lord. We show Him love and honor in our personal relationship with
Him – not only in words but also in our hearts and in our deeds. We also show
the Lord love and honor by the way we treat other people. Jesus said, “And the King shall answer and say unto
them, Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least
of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me” (Matthew 25:40).
Below is an outline sorted under Greek words for
“honor” if you would like to study more about this subject.
1. Timao (Strong’s New Testament #5091) = to prize; to fix
a valuation upon; to revere; to venerate; to honor.
Scriptures which contain the word timao include:
A.
Honor parents
(Matthew 15:4,6, 19:19; Mark 7:10, 10:19; Luke 18:20; Ephesians 6:2).
B.
Honor the Lord
with your heart and not just your lips (Matthew 15:8; Mark 7:6).
C.
Honor the Son as
you would honor the Father (John 5:23).
D.
Jesus honors His
Father (John 8:49).
E.
The Father
honors those who serve Jesus Christ (John 12:26).
F.
Honoring the
brethren (Acts 28:10).
G.
Honoring widows
(1 Timothy 5:3).
H.
Honoring kings
and those in authority (1 Peter 2:17).
I.
Show honor and
respect to all people (1 Peter 2:17).
2. Timee (Strong’s New Testament
#5092) = honor which belongs or is shown to one; to value and esteem to the
highest degree; to hold in high dignity; precious; of high price.
A.
A prophet is
shown honor everywhere except their own town (John 4:44).
B.
Romans 2:6-7
“Who will render to each one according to his deeds: eternal life to those who
by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor and immortality.”
C.
Romans 2:8-10
“But to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey
unrighteousness – indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish, on every soul
of man who does eveil, of the Jew first and also of the Greek. But glory, honor
and peace to everyone who works what is good, to the Jew first and also to the
Greek.”
D.
Romans 12:10 “Be
kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one
another.”
E.
Romans 13:7
“Give honor to whom honor is due.”
F.
1 Corinthians
6:20 “For you are bought at a price (timee); therefore glorify God in
your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”
G.
1 Corinthians
12:23-28 “And the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special
honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,
while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the
members of the Body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so
that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have
equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it;
if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the Body of
Christ, and each of you is a part of it.”
H.
1 Thessalonians
4:4 “Possessing our own vessel in sanctification and honor.”
I.
1 Timothy 1:17
“Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be
honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.”
J.
1 Timothy 5:17
“Let the elders who rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially
those who labor in the Word and doctrine.”
K.
Masters worthy
of all honor (1 Timothy 6:1).
L.
1 Timothy
6:14-16 “That thou keep this commandment without spot, unrebukable, until the
appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ. Which in His times He shall show, who is
the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings, and Lord of lords. Who only
hath immortality, dwelling in the light which no man can approach unto, whom no
man hath seen, nor can see: to whom be honor and power everlasting. Amen.”
M.
Vessels of
honor, sanctified, and meet for the Master’s use, prepared unto every good work
(2 Timothy 2:21).
N.
Jesus crowned
with glory and honor (Hebrews 2:7,9).
O.
Jesus counted as
being worthy of more glory than Moses (Hebrews 3:3).
P.
The honor of
being appointed as a priest (Hebrews 5:4).
Q.
1 Peter 1:17
“That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that
perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour
and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.”
R.
1 Peter 2:7-8
“Unto you, therefore, which believe He is precious (timee): but unto
them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is
made the head of the corner, and a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence,
even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they
were appointed.”
S.
1 Peter 3:7
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor
unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the
grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
T.
2 Peter 1:16-17
“For we did not follow cunningly devised fables when we made known to you the
power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but were eyewitnesses of His
majesty. For He received from God the Father honor and glory when such a voice
came to Him from the Excellent Glory: ‘This is My beloved Son, in whom I am
well pleased.’”
U.
Glory and honor
to Him who sits on the Throne and to the Lamb (Revelation 4:9,11, 5:12,13,
7:12, 19:1).
3. Timios (Strong’s
New Testament #5093) = held as very valuable, costly, dear,
precious and beloved. Held in honor and
high esteem. Ways translated: precious, honorable.
A.
Precious Blood
of Christ (1 Peter 1:19).
B.
Marriage is
honorable in all and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4).
C.
Exceeding great
and precious promises (2 Peter 1:4).
4. Phobeo (Strong’s
New Testament #5399) = to reverence, venerate, to treat with
deference or reverential obedience.
A.
Ephesians 5:33
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love (agapao) his wife even
as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
B.
1 Peter 2:17
“Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear
(phobeo) God. Honor the King.”
C.
Revelation 14:7
“Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to Him; for the hour
of His judgment is come; and worship Him that made heaven, and earth, and the
sea, and the fountains of waters.”
5. Entrepo
(Strong’s New Testament #1788) = to respect, regard,
reverence.
A.
Hebrews 12:9
“Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave
them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of
spirits, and live?”
B.
Parable of the
vineyard and husbandmen in Matthew 21:33-44; Mark 12:1-12; Luke 20:9-19.
Edifying Others
The theme of today’s teaching is “love
edifies others”.
Romans 14:19 says, “Therefore, let us pursue the things which make for
peace and the things by which one may edify another.”
Romans 15:2 says, “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, for
his edification.”
The words “edify” or “edification” comes from the Greek word oikodome (or oikodomeo in some instances).
The definition means: “to build up (as in the idea of building a
structure); a builder; an edifice; an architect; to construct; to confirm;
confirmation; to establish; to be a house builder; to rebuild; to build up from
the foundation; to restore or repair.”
The Thayer’s Greek Lexicon adds the following definition: “To promote
growth in Christian wisdom, affection, grace, virtue, holiness and
blessedness.”
The opposite of edification is to tear down, to damage, to destroy, to
injure, to harm, to break, to weaken, to put others down, to discourage or
depress, to destabilize, to undermine, to demoralize, to cut away by unkind
remarks or actions, to crush, to deflate, to diminish or reduce, to shred into
pieces, to belittle, to humiliate, to criticize, to disdain, to be negative.
While I was involved in the choir at my former church, the Director of
the Worship Department used to engrain into us what she called the “3 E’s”:
1) Edify 2) Esteem 3) Encourage.
Before she became a worship pastor, she used to be a school teacher and taught
music to children. When the children would begin to pick on each other like
kids do, she would write on the chalk board:
E
E
E
The children knew what the 3 E’s meant. She also engrained the 3 E’s
into those of us in the choir who are adults. Adults can be like children
except in grown-up bodies. Adults can be far more cruel than children in biting
each other with words and deeds. She and her husband have been, and continue to
be, godly examples of showing love to others.
To edify others is to esteem them, to build them up, to compliment them,
to honor them, to show them respect and admiration, to show high regard for, to
encourage, to strengthen, to be supportive, to value and prize, to give others
a boost, to uplift, to build others’ faith and confidence.
Edification is positive and uplifting. When we edify others, their faith
is increased and our faith is increased as well. Faith is always filled with
hope and positive expectation. When you edify others, you will feel edified
yourself.
The Apostle Paul said that prophecy is for the edification of the Body
of Christ. First Corinthians 14:3 says, “But he who prophesies speaks
edification and exhortation and comfort to men.”
The five-fold offices of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and
teachers are for the purpose of equipping the saints for the work of the
ministry and for the edifying of the Body of Christ (Ephesians 4:11-12).
Paul goes on to further state in Ephesians 4:16 that the Body of Christ
grows and builds itself up in love as each individual part of the Body works
properly.
Edification involves the tongue and the power of words. The tongue has
the power of death and life (Proverbs 18:21). The tongue can be used to speak
words which promote death and destruction, and the tongue can be used to speak
words of life which promote edification.
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your
mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister
grace unto the hearers.”
Colossians 4:6 tells us to let our speech be always with grace, seasoned
with salt, that we may know how we ought to answer every man. Psalms 45:2 says,
“You are the most excellent of men and Your lips (words) have been anointed
with grace.”
Paul said in 1 Corinthians 8:1 that knowledge puffs up, but love builds
up.
Edification is more concerned about the well-being of others. First
Corinthians 10:23-24 says, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things
edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.” To edify
others is to NOT be a stumbling block to them.
Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:4 to not get caught up in doctrinal issues that
cause disputes rather than godly edification which is in faith. In this
situation, it was not just a matter of difference in doctrinal interpretation
of Scripture. There were teachers at the church of Ephesus who were teaching
unauthenticated doctrine that were mere speculations – myths and legends. The
focus was on endless genealogies. This teaching was not edifying and produced
controversies instead of promoting the Gospel and godliness, which is of faith
and edification.
Believers are admonished to edify one another. First Thessalonians 5:11
says, “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are
doing.”
Remember the “3 E’s”:
1. Edify others
2. Esteem others
3. Encourage others
May the Lord bless you.
Pride and Humility
This message is about the subject of pride. Pride is at the root of all
the reasons why love is often not demonstrated to the degree that it should be.
As an example, a common scenario is arguments and strife in relationships.
Proverbs 13:10a says, “Pride only breeds quarrels …”
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love is defined as:
·
Being patient
·
Being kind
·
Not being jealous
·
Not being arrogant
·
Not being rude
·
Not behaving unbecoming
·
Not selfish
·
Not demanding one’s own way
·
Not easily angered
·
Does not keep a record of wrongs
·
Does not rejoice in
unrighteousness
·
Rejoices in truth
·
Bears all things
·
Protects
·
Believes for the best
·
Trusts
·
Hopes
·
Perseveres
·
Faithful
Pride is at the root of impatience. Impatience says, “Unless everything
is done in my time table then “I get upset and show my agitation” … “I am the
most important person around here and get irritated with delays or if I have to
listen to what someone says longer than I wish to” … “However, when I have
something to say, I expect others to give me their undivided attention.”
Pride is at the root of self-centeredness and demanding one’s own way.
Self-absorption says, “My needs and wants are more important than everyone
else’s needs and wants” … “My time is more valuable than other people’s time.”
Pride is at the root of being easily provoked and displaying temper
tantrums. Anger says, “I am the most important person and I have rights to
react, yell, scream or tell someone off if they irritate me for any reason or
do not do what I want them to do. I can treat someone any way I wish.”
Anger is all about control and control is backed by pride. Control says,
“I want it my own way and I will do whatever it takes to get my own way” … “I’m
going to call the shots.”
Everyone experiences anger, but the Bible says to be angry and sin not
(Ephesians 4:26). In many situations, a person who is easily angered will often
be abusive verbally, mentally, emotionally and even physically.
Abusers are very wounded, insecure individuals and they hurt other
people. Abusers are very self-centered and usually blame others around them for
their problems. When they are confronted, they are often even more explosive.
They may apologize and say that it will never happen again, but the abuse
usually continues until the victim stands up to him/her.
Deliverance for the abuser comes when they humble themselves before God
and before man, take responsibility for their life and actions, and seek for
professional help.
Pride is at the root of keeping a record of offenses, holding grudges
and being unforgiving. Pride refuses to let go of the wrongs committed against
them. To forgive is an act of humility. To forgive is to grant grace, mercy and
pardon even when you feel like the person who offended you does not deserve it.
Sometimes it is hard to forgive because we feel like the other person is being
let off the hook and getting by with what they did. Yet God has forgiven us of
sin after sin, and has shown us abundant grace and mercy when we did not
deserve it. To the extent we show mercy is the extent we will receive mercy.
Pride is believing that you are better than others, and others are lower
than you.
Pride is more concerned about appearances (How will I look?) than in
what is the right thing to do.
Pride causes barriers between denominations, races, and economic status.
First Corinthians 13:4-5, in the Amplified Version, says that agape love
is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily, it is not
conceited and it is not inflated.
Proverbs 11:2 says, “When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the
lowly is wisdom. Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a
haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 29:23 says, “A man’s pride shall bring
him low; but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit.”
To love others is to have a spirit of humility. First Peter 5:5-6 says,
“Yes, all of you clothe yourselves with humility, to serve one another. For God
resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore
under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.”
Humility is defined in the Greek as: “having
a humble opinion of oneself, modest, lowliness of mind.” (Low self-esteem
and self-degradation is not humility.)
Philippians 2:3-4 instructs us to let nothing be done through selfish
ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better
than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also
for the interests of others.”
In Verses 5-11 of Philippians 2, we are reminded of Christ’s example of
humility:
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus
6 Who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal
with God.
7 But made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant,
and coming in the likeness of men.
8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became
obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
9 Therefore, God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name
which is above every name.
10 That at the Name of Jesus
every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those
under the earth.
11 And that every tongue should
confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
