Chapter 5
Shame
It was the early 1990’s. I would
have been in my mid 20’s back then. The church I was attending at the time,
Family Worship Center in Pleasant Hill, California, hosted a one-day Women’s
Retreat held at a hotel in Concord, California. I don’t remember who the
special speaker was. I just remember the deep work of healing that the Holy
Spirit was doing in the lives of the women present.
The Holy Spirit swept through the
place, and women were weeping and wailing. Women of all ages. Married and
single women. God was doing a deep Sovereign work.
Towards the end of the speaker’s
message, the Lord began to prophetically speak through her that so many of the
women in that room were wearing, as if it were, a black veil of mourning and
shame. God wanted to remove that veil and replace it with a crown of beauty. He
wanted to lift off the shame and reproach in our lives and give us a beautiful
bridal veil to wear, since He is our bridegroom and we are His bride.
Women were carrying around shame,
rejection and mourning for various reasons. For some, it was because of past or
present abuse. For others, it was the broken heart of a failed marriage or
having been widowed. For some, past immorality. For several single women, the
feelings of being alone, feeling forgotten by God, rejection by men and living
with the “stigma” of singleness because society says that we should be married
or have a boyfriend.
For a few women who were married
and having a difficult time conceiving a child, or had frequent miscarriages,
they were in utter despair and grief. The pain of having empty arms was almost
too much for them to bear especially when their friends and relatives were
having babies.
Almost every woman there felt
ashamed, for one reason or another, about her appearance or body image. Even
the ones who seemed to be so beautiful were ashamed about certain things in
their appearance. There were so many reasons why the women in that place felt
shame, rejection and mourning.
The Lord was doing such a deep work of healing that day, tenderly holding us in His arms and whispering so gently, “I love you, you are my beautiful bride, I will give you the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. I will give you beauty for ashes.
I am your glory and the lifter of your head. I want to heal you and set you free. Those who look to Me are radiant and their faces are never covered in shame.
I am the lover of your soul. I will never abandon you. I will never fail you. I long to share sweet intimacy with you, My bride. I want to romance you, dance with you, validate you. Only I can meet all of your needs.
Would you give Me permission to come into those secret chambers of your
heart and cleanse the deep wounds? Would you allow Me to heal the memories? I
am the Lord your healer. You are so beautiful to me, My precious jewel. Would
you allow Me complete access to your heart?”
What is shame?
In the Bible, there are many
words translated as shame. The Hebrew and Greek defines shame as:
· To pale, to blush
· Humiliation
· Confusion, to be confounded
· Dishonored or not honored
· Reproach
· Disgrace
· Depised, Contempt
· Lightly Esteem
· Maltreat
· To wound, to taunt, to insult
· To expose, to defame, to rail
· Disappointment and delay
· To become dry
Notice that the last two
definitions deal with disappointment, delay and being dry (parched). Shame
leaves a sense of desolation to the soul. (Hope deferred also leads to feeling
stripped dry.) Shame causes emotional barrenness.
The Lord wants to transform the
ruins in your life into an Eden. He wants to turn the wilderness into a land
that is lush and green with pools of refreshing water.
Shame is like a garment. The Lord
wants to do a Divine exchange, and give us a garment of righteousness and
beauty to wear if we will give Him our garment of shame and mourning.
When you are ashamed, you feel
bad about yourself and want to hide. Shame can become a lifestyle, where you
always want to hide, or put up a facade so people don’t see the real you.
The Lord says, “The walls you
have built to protect yourself are not only keeping everyone else out, but also
keeping Me out as well. Would you give Me permission to get close to you
without you pushing Me away, keeping Me at a distance? Would You allow Me to go
into every room of your heart?”
The Lord wants to remove that
black veil of mourning, and crown our head with a beautiful white bridal veil
instead. He wants us to hold our heads high knowing who we are in Christ.
Our identity and validation come
from Him and who He says we are. He says that we are kings and priests. He says
that we are His beautiful and radiant bride. He says that we are complete in
Him.
Whatever has happened in the
past, whatever mistakes you have made, whatever injustices happened to you …
it’s over with and done. The Lord is doing a new thing. Now it springs forth.
Your past does not determine your
destiny. God promises to give us a double portion recompense for what we went
through.
Isaiah 61:7-8 says, “Instead of
your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor
and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore, in their
land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall
be theirs. For I the Lord love justice.”
The Lord loves justice (fairness,
equity). Whatever we went through in life that was unfair, the Lord wants to
make it up to us in some way.
Even if we made mistakes and
forfeited some things, God promises to restore double to us. The Lord is very
kind and compassionate.
Isaiah 54:4-5 AMP
Fear not, for you shall not be
ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to
shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not
[seriously] remember the reproach of your widowhood any more. For your Maker is
your Husband — the Lord of hosts is His name — and the Holy One of Israel is
your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth He is called.
Psalms 34:4-5 AMP
I sought (inquired of) the Lord
and required Him [of necessity and on the authority of His Word], and He heard
me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to Him and were radiant;
their faces shall never blush for shame or be confused.
Isaiah 60:1 AMP
Arise [from the depression and
prostration in which circumstances have kept you — rise to a new life]! Shine
(be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory
of the Lord has risen upon you!
