Valentines Day
My Love Affair With Jesus
Valentine’s Day is a special day of the year to express love for your
spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, children, grandchildren, nephews, nieces,
parents, grandparents, siblings, relatives, friends and other loved ones.
This post will focus on my expressions of love to Jesus, and also in
honoring earthly marriage between a man and a woman.
In the Song of Solomon, and other passages throughout the Bible, it
gives a depiction of the passion between the Bridegroom (Jesus) and the Bride
(His Church, especially the ones who seek out intimacy with the Beloved). The
Beloved is referring to Jesus.
For clarification, I’m talking about intimacy in spirit and soul.
Philippians 3:10a says, “That I may know Him (Jesus).” Not just know facts about
God, but to have a very close relationship with Him. To know His heart. To be
in love with Him. To develop such oneness, that after a while His desires
become your desires, His thoughts, your thoughts.
In the passage about earthly marriage in Ephesians 5, in verse 32 Paul
says that marriage is a mystery, because it was intended to be a reflection of
the marriage between Jesus and His Bride.
Dream: October 5, 2010
I will share parts of the dream:
I’m in a church setting, and then in the next scene I am in a grocery
store near the dairy and meat section. I am holding the Word in my hand. (In
many of my dreams, a grocery store often represents a church, or a body of
believers who gather together. The grocery store is a place of abundant supply
of feeding and nourishment. The meat and dairy section speaks of the feeding of
the milk and meat of the Word.)
I’m standing there in the grocery store near the dairy and meat section
holding the Word in my hand. Then Jesus walks up to my left, and begins
smothering me with kisses on the left side of my face, and on my neck and lips.
He does this in a public place in front of other people, but I didn’t seem to
mind too much.
In the next scene, Jesus and I are walking down a quiet path together
(Him walking on my left side), and He’s still smothering me with passionate
kisses. As long as I was caught up in receiving His affection, I was okay. I
wasn’t even aware of the speed at which we were traveling. I thought we were
still walking along a quiet path, but then I noticed that we began traveling
down a highway (2 or 3 lanes in each direction) going at an accelerated speed.
There was no other traffic on the highway. The highway was supposed to be near
the San Francisco International Airport, although in real life, there are more
like 5 or 6 lanes each direction and heavy traffic.
Then I looked to my left and began to see swarms of small planes landing
and taking off at the San Francisco International Airport (but it was good
symbolism and nothing negative).
And then, like when Peter noticed the waves of the sea after stepping
out of the boat and then he began to sink, I realized that we were traveling so
fast that I began to feel fear and anxious feelings in the pit of my stomach.
Then I grabbed onto Jesus’ right hand really tight for strength and comfort.
Jesus was not alarmed at all and acted like it wasn’t a big deal. It was
me who was afraid and anxious.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NKJV)
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for
the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor
forsake you.
In my walk with the Lord, part of intimacy with Christ means that I can
depend fully on Him to be my Strength. When I am weak, He is strong. When I am
afraid, I can put my trust in Him. He holds our hand and walks alongside of us
as we travel down our own unique paths in life.
Sometimes the journey is peaceful with clear blue sunny skies, and other
times the journey is stressful and stormy winds. Even success and good things
can bring on stress at times. However, Jesus is there with us at all seasons in
our lives. He is our Helper and our Shield.
About a month ago while at church, the worship leader was teaching us a
new song called “Oh, How He Loves Us”. She made the statement that for every kiss from Jesus, it represents
His goodness and favor in our lives.
Psalms 23:6 (NLT) Surely Your goodness and unfailing love will pursue
me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.
The Message Bible says “Your beauty and love chase after me every
day of my life.”
Jesus is pursuing and chasing after His Bride. He also wants us to
pursue and chase after Him too.
Psalms 27:13-14 (KJV) says:
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine
heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
Jeremiah 31:12 (KJV):
12 Therefore they shall come and sing in the height of Zion, and shall
flow together to the goodness of the Lord, for wheat (manna, rhema), and for wine (joy),
and for oil (anointing), and for the
young of the flock and of the herd (meat and milk of
the Word): and their soul shall be as a watered garden (satiated, flourishing); and they shall not sorrow
any more at all.
In my life, there have been those times of continually praying over the
same issues and seeing no change. At times hopelessness set in and I wondered
if I would see God’s goodness while still on this planet. (I see God’s goodness
in many ways, but I’m referring specifically to those times when I was
desperate to see breakthrough.)
I know what it’s like to have lived in the wilderness in my soul for
many years, and feeling barren, dry, thirsty, parched, unfruitful, desolate and
wondering if I would always remain in the desert.
I know what it’s like for dreams to die out, or parts of your soul to
feel like it died out due to disappointments, ongoing issues in your life, or
the long passage of time for some promises to come to pass and some prayers to
be answered. Yet I also know what it’s like for God to resurrect those dead
dreams and bring fresh hope and faith for those promises—and help me get back
on the road of faith.
Some have been believing for a long time for a breakthrough concerning
health issues, finances, family, children, marriage, or wanting to be married,
ministry, career, or whatever the case may be. The Bible says that God is
faithful to fulfill all His promises.
God brought me out of my wilderness, and positioned me in a place that
is green and lush, where it is flourishing and blossoming, and there are rivers
of living water to quench my thirst and plenty of spiritual food to satisfy
spiritual hunger. I feel satiated with the Presence and Glory of God (up to a
point, and always have room for more of the Lord’s Presence).
Even though you may feel like you are stuck in a wilderness and are
experiencing dryness and barrenness in areas of your life, there is hope. The
rain of the Holy Spirit will begin to pour down and remove the drought. He will
transform your desert into a green garden and bring revival and renewed life to
your innermost being. And then out of your innermost being, shall flow rivers
of living water (referring to the Holy Spirit) – John 7:38-39.
There are some who may be single, widowed or divorced and Valentine’s
Day is emotionally difficult. There are some who are married but struggling in
their marriage. I pray God’s peace and comfort to you. Jesus is a Husband, a
Friend, the Lover of your Soul. He’s Beautiful, Faithful, He’s there and will
never leave or forsake you.
I so cherish His sweet Presence.
Sometimes I say to the Lord, “You know that matter I’m very concerned
about? (and tell Him what it is), I need to know what to do.” He may speak to
me in my spirit about matters of concern. He may give me a word of wisdom, or
instruction, or speak to me in dreams. Sometimes He says nothing but fills my
heart with comfort and peace letting me know that He is taking care of the
situation.
I feel the freedom to talk to the Lord about anything and everything.
He’s not a God who you have to feel ashamed to say something or to express how
you really feel. There is nothing we can hide from Him anyhow.
I used to get angry at Jesus and begin to blame Him for my problems,
setbacks, or for prayers not having been answered in the way or timing in which
I thought it should happen. Sometimes I hurt His feelings and grieved Him, and
had to repent. But now, I’ve come to totally trust Him and trust His perfect
timing.
Jesus is so beautiful and precious. I love Him so much and want to
please and obey Him. He has appeared to me in Person in dreams several times
since 2000, and a few times in waking visions.
He has such a spirit of humility about Him and is so meek. He is not
like people of this earth who are filled with so much pride and ego. Although
Jesus is God Almighty, He has no need to prove He is in charge. He is totally
secure in His God-Manhood (Him being 100% God and 100% Man). He has no need to
exercise force, dominate people or control people. He lets us have free choice
and freedom.
His eyes are very piercing and penetrating (literally) and you know that
He can see right through you and you can literally feel the weight of His
stare. He knows everything about your past, every sin you have ever committed,
every thought you have ever had, every motive of your heart … and you cannot
lie or fake your way out of anything. You are laid bare in His sight, cannot
hide anything, and are at His mercy. You see His authority and you know He
could send you to hell if He wanted to. Yet in spite of knowing everything
about you, He shows 100% acceptance of you, and there is no judgment or
condemnation coming from Him.
Liquid love flows out of His blue eyes towards you. You get a whole new
revelation of just how Holy He is. If you thought you were previously living a
godly life, when you stand before His Presence and Holiness, you feel like a
wicked person. Yet His Blood cleanses us from all sin and makes us spotless
clean, as white as fresh snow. Every one of us when we get to Heaven will be
singing the song “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like
me, I once was lost but now am found, I once was blind but now I see.” Painless
flames of fire shoot from His eyes and pierce right through your heart and
entire being, and the fire sanctifies you.
Judith Christie-McAllister sings a song called “A Worshipper’s Prayer”
which I enjoy listening to and singing. It’s about going behind the Veil
to spend time with Jesus in the Holy of Holies.
Another beautiful song that ministers to me so much is called “I Declare
“I do”, written by Portia McCurdy Sumner. We used to attend the same church in
Oakland. She has written many beautiful songs. When I get married, I want to
use this as one of the worship songs at my wedding. It’s about saying “I do” to
Jesus, your eternal Husband and you becoming His Bride.
The lyrics go:
My God, I tell You that I love You
My Lord, I tell You that I need You
My King, I tell You that I long for You
I declare, I declare, I declare “I do”.
My God, my life I offer to You
My Lord, my heart is only for You
My King, serving you is what I long to do
I declare, I declare, I declare “I do”.
My God, I tell You that I love You
My Lord, I tell You that I need You
My King, I tell You that I long for You
I declare, I declare, I declare “I do”.
Sing: Jesus, Jesus, Jesus “I do”.
Sing: Jesus, Jesus, Jesus “I do”.
Written by Portia McCurdy Sumner
Parts of a Poem I Wrote Years Ago on Marriage:
There are 7 key things in my life I’ve been waiting and believing God on
for years. Some things are in the process of being fulfilled, while other
things have not manifested yet. Fulfillment is not always instant, but occurs
in stages. One of those 7 key areas in my life involves marriage and children.
Years ago I wrote a poem on earthly marriage. I’m going to share parts
of it:
Regardless of my feelings, I want the Lord’s will
I am resting in God and my soul is still.
God will lead and guide me in the path He has for me
In His perfect timing, everything He’s promised will come to be.
I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m a virtuous woman who fears the Lord
My price is far above rubies … much too high for just any man to afford.
I deserve a man of greatness, a man of honor and Christ-like servanthood
I receive whoever God chooses to be my Boaz … to redeem me and for a
lifetime to do me good.
Yes! My man is going to be controlled by the wisdom that comes from
above
A man who walks in the power of the Spirit and demonstrates Jesus’
meekness and love.
I’ve waited a long time for God’s best, and I have persevered and have
passed the test
The Father’s gift of a God-fearing man is on the way … in fact, it could
happen any day.
When it does happen, my family, true friends, and myself will be very
joyful and glad
My man will treat me so good that some women will be jealous and mad.
But they’ll get over it, because my husband and I will be a good example
of a happy marriage
And over a short period of time, we will start a family and push a baby
carriage.
God will use us to help heal marriages and to speak to husbands and
wives
One of the keys will be to teach people to not use their tongues as
knives.
My man and I will enjoy a fulfilling, successful marriage which lasts
into our elderly years
We will live in God’s blessings and favor … in health and wealth … my
prayers God answers and hears.
Our children will grow up loving and blessing the Lord, they will serve
Him all of their days
They will flourish and expand, and be anointed of God—and walk in all
His ways.
They will adore their earthly daddy and their Heavenly Abba too
My man will be a great husband and father – a faithful man who stays
true to his word when he says “I do”.
This has been my confession of faith regarding marriage. Some married
people laugh at me because they are acquainted with the realities of marriage
and it’s not quite as perfect as this poem. But go ahead and laugh (smile) …
I’m laughing with you. Who knows, I might just receive what I’m confessing!
The Lord did say years ago, that in my marriage we would be like apples
and oranges (very different but not necessarily incompatible), but He would
make fruit salad. Fruit that is mixed together is even sweeter. And one time
the Lord told me that in the beginning of the marriage, we would share oneness
of heart, but it wouldn’t be like pieces of a puzzle fitting together perfectly
or like a custom fitted glove. He said He was going to sand off some rough
edges in me and some rough edges in my husband. And over a process of time, we
would truly become more and more one.
Recently I was cleaning out some files and came across a sealed envelope
with a rose on it. I couldn't stand the curiosity, so I opened it to see what I
had written. I began laughing in amusement (and joy too) when I read it
(thinking “Lord, can this really come true?”). It was a list of things I wrote
many years ago of what I wanted in a marital relationship. And I was specific
and very detailed. I forgot I wrote it. It was like I heard the Lord say to my
spirit that He didn't forget my requests and He is faithful to bring it into
realization.
God says in Habakkuk 2:2-3 to write the vision down on paper. At the
appointed time, it will be fulfilled. Though it tarry, wait for it. For it
shall not linger, nor shall it be one day late. It shall surely come. According
to man's timing, it seems years late. But God has a different idea on timing.
God lives outside of time. He does not deal in chronological time as it is on
this earth (the ticking away of the clock and months or years going by). He
works in “kairos” time, meaning “the appointed time, the set time, the season
of God’s timing for something to come to pass”.
Right now I am totally content and happy just being married to Jesus and
to my ministry. I’m not out searching for a man or feeling desperation. I’m
dwelling in God’s Sabbath Rest and am allowing the Father to work out the
details of bringing my husband into my life. The Lord will give me my own
romance story someday of how He brought us together.
I love to spend time, like Mary did, just sitting at the feet of Jesus
and learning from Him. I love to spend time soaking in His Presence with
worship music (either me playing my piano keyboard or listening to CD’s or
YouTube worship videos). The Lord imparts revelation to me during those times
of sitting at His feet and worshiping Him. Sometimes He gives me visions.
Just basking in the Glory of the Lord with worship music, the Lord
begins to overshadow me and He washes over me with His gentle, sweet, yet
powerful Presence. It is in that place of intimate worship, that the Lord
impregnates your spirit and soul with the purposes of God. It begins as a seed,
and then eventually those purposes are birthed.
It’s such a joy, a privilege and an honor to be married to Jesus and to
be madly in love with Him. Life with Him is always an exciting adventure. There
is never a dull moment. It’s never boring or totally predictable. Nothing ever
gets stale. It’s always fresh and exciting. There is spontaneity and variety
mixed in there, which keeps things fresh and alive and fun. Just when I think I
have Jesus all figured out, He pulls out the carpet from underneath my feet and
amazes me by showing me new facets about Him that I never saw before. He is
always surprising me.
Jesus is passionate and romantic. He is so strong yet also so gentle and
kind. His aim is to serve me and meet my needs, more than me ministering to His
needs. He needs love and affection (praise, worship) too. God has the same
needs that humans have, because we were created in His image.
When I was younger, Jesus and I had our years of spiritual “married
life” that were stormy (on my part, not His part, but He was always very
patient and longsuffering with me). At times, I would get so enraged with Him,
throw fits, yell or scream at Him, and even accuse Him of not wanting to give
me the desires of my heart and fulfill promises He had made in my life. I was
all messed up emotionally and in my thinking at the time. I was carrying around
so much pain from the past.
There was one occasion, in the late 1990’s, where Jesus appeared to me
during the night while I was sleeping in an audible dream. I heard His Voice,
but did not see Him. Boy was He enraged and as red hot as He could be! I’ve
never seen Him angry like that before! (You don’t ever want to get on His bad
side, because you know you are in serious trouble then!)
He confronted me on my doubt and unbelief, and falsely accusing Him and
His Father of not wanting to give me the desires of my heart, and not being
faithful to fulfill promises He had made to me. It was like I was being rude
and disrespectful, and emasculating Him, and making Him out to be a liar, and
weak and unable to come through for me and do what He said He would do. Then I
responded to Him by saying that years had gone by and the promise still had not
come to pass. Then His response back to me was: “I’ll do it when I do it!!!”
And then He stormed out and left.
After that time, I started to get my act together and stop showing
disrespect and dishonor, and hurling my anger at Him and blaming Him for all of
my problems. I began to trust Him more and not question His timing on matters.
I began to die to what I wanted and my selfishness (everything always had to be
about me and what I wanted), and get on board with His agenda and what He
wanted. I learned to be submissive to Him. After that encounter, it sure filled
me with the fear of the Lord! He is kind and humble, but He also is HOLY! And
we are to show Him the utmost reverence, honor and respect! He is a Man of
Authority and is higher than any judge of this earth.
God does not like sin, period. But the worst kind of sin that He
absolutely cannot tolerate, and what enrages Him the most, is the sin of doubt
and unbelief, and murmuring and complaining. It’s in a worse category than
murder and adultery. It was this sin that caused the first generation of
Israelites exiting out of Egypt to forfeit their inheritance in the Promised
Land. God swore that they would not enter into their rest, and the entire first
generation all died out in the wilderness (except for Joshua and Caleb who
always had a faith-filled report). Faith is the only thing that pleases God,
and it’s the only thing that can bring to us the answers we are praying for.
After that encounter, and dying to my selfishness and everything always
being about me and my needs, then my spiritual “married life” with Jesus became
passionate and wonderful! Getting on board with His plans and agenda has turned
out to be an exciting and fulfilling journey.
Regardless of marital status, the Lord is calling His people (men and
women) into intimacy with Him. He wants to love us and to share His heart with
us. We come to know Him by spending time in His Word, prayer and worship. He
has many things He wants to speak to us about.
The Lord is preparing His Bride to be ready for the Marriage Supper of
the Lamb.
Revelation 19:8-9 (NKJV)
8 And to her (Bride) it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean
and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.
9 Then he said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the
marriage supper of the Lamb!’” And he said to me, “These are the true sayings
of God.”
Revelation 22:17 (NKJV)
And the Spirit and the Bride say, “Come!” And let him who hears say,
“Come!” And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water
of life freely.
The anointing on my life only comes from spending intimate time in the
Presence of the Lord, with worship music playing. For decades I have made it a
lifestyle to spend as much time as possible basking in the Glory of God with
worship music.
Being in a Glory environment of worship, and also much angelic activity
because the Presence of the Lord attracts God’s holy angels, it’s better than
anything else this world has to offer. There is so much peace and joy, and then
revelation and inspiration is imparted to me. It’s a little glimpse of Heaven
itself.
I can testify by years of personal experience that the following
Scripture means what it says: “In His Presence is fullness of joy and at His
right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalms 16:11).
Being in the Presence of God, and especially seeing Jesus in Person and
seeing His Face, is life transforming. You will never be the same ever again.
Any previous religious mindsets will be shattered. His Presence fills your
heart with restoration, revival, refreshing and rejuvenation. It’s like there
is a fire on the inside of you, and it’s contagious and spreads to other
people.
The Presence of the Lord is like water that brings life to dead or dry
areas of your soul, and brings new life and fruitfulness.
Jesus is so friendly and down to earth, and can relate to us humans. He
has a great sense of humor too and likes to laugh, dance and have fun. If
people just knew Him, anyone would fall in love with Him and want to serve Him.
The theme verse for my life is “As the deer pants for the water streams,
so my soul longs after You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the one and
only True and Living God.” Psalms 42:1-2
It is God's will that no one should perish (end up in hell), but that ALL should come to repentance.
For God so loved this world that He gave His only begotton Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
God did not send His Son into this world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him would be saved.
The thief (Satan the devil) comes only for to kill, steal and destroy. But Jesus has come to give us life, and life more abundantly, until it overflows.
I urge you to come to the Cross today and receive Jesus as your Savior and Lord. He will wash away all your sins and make you as clean and white as fresh snow.
Just pray this prayer and mean it with your heart:
Dear Lord Jesus (if you are not able to call him Lord yet, then just say "Jesus")
I receive You as my Savior and Lord. I give my life over to You. I believe that You died and rose again, and that if I call on the Name of the Lord I shall be saved.
I accept you into my heart right now, and confess that You are Lord and have risen from the dead and forever live to make intercession for me.
Thank You for washing my heart pure and clean and making me whole, and for giving me peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Thank You that now I am a new creature in Christ Jesus. The old has gone and the new has come.
And there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh (carnality and sin), but walk after the Spirit. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
If you prayed this prayer, I believe you got born again and are now heaven bound and will be with the Lord forever and have eternal life. Your sins are now forgiven. You are accepted in the Beloved.
I would encourage you to find a good Bible based local church to help you grow in your faith, to learn the Word of God, to praise and worship Him, and to have fellowship with the saints.
Serving Christ is the best decision you will ever make.
God bless you!!!
